Like a girl

Languages are full of fossils, that is things we say because they are commonly used but not because we reflect on the original meaning they used to have. Words like ado in “much ado about nothing / without further ado” are only used in these contexts and have lost their original meaning as single words.

But what about “like a girl”? I had two conversations a few days ago about using this term and other such has “to have balls”, which in Italian means “to be tough, brave”. Girls by definitions lack balls. Girls behave, play, cry, act like girls. This reminded me of a great TED talk by Tony Porter on what it really means to call someone “a girl”:

I can remember speaking to a 12-year-old boy, a football player, and I asked him, I said, “How would you feel if, in front of all the players, your coach told you you were playing like a girl?” Now I expected him to say something like, I’d be sad; I’d be mad; I’d be angry, or something like that. No, the boy said to me — the boy said to me, “It would destroy me.” And I said to myself, “God, if it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?” (Tony Porter)
If you ever told someone he/she was behaving like a girl, like a cunt, like a pussy, or told them not to be a girl / a cunt / a pussy, or to man up, to show some balls, to stop being a little girl, maybe you should watch the whole video and think about what it means.

(subtitles are available in many other languages here)

I hate playing the language police, but these things do matter when you bring up a child. And even if you don;t have children of your own, don’t forget it takes a village to raise a child.

Need another word for it? What about “grown up”? Adulting is underrated.

29 before 30

Hello, old and new readers. You may have wondered what happened to my old blog. Well, there were some problems with renewing the domain, long story short, here’s a new blog! I will try and re-upload the old posts and hopefully resume my Vietnam trip posts.

In the meanwhile, I moved to Saarbrücken to start a post-doc. My bimonthly henna has become a necessity and my metabolism is tragically slowing down. I am growing older and wiser, it’s time for a change and all that jazz. New Years is coming too. And in 2015 (in 7 months) I will turn 30. That age that I thought was reserved to young teachers, cool ants and uncles, older cousins and older sisters.

So all those changes call for a list of resolutions, and there’s one that has been in my head for a while. So there you go, my “29 before 30 list”, in random order:

29 – buy a deep frier

28 – learn how to make tempura

27 – pay off my credit card debt

26 – start being more consistent about saving money

25 – grow my hair as long as I can before I start craving a pixie cut

24 – buy a piano (e-piano, most likely)

23 – start playing the piano again

22 – publish 2 more journal articles (I am working on them)

21 – get an idea that actually makes sense, and that I can use to apply for my own funding

20 – get some teaching experience

19 – lose as much as I need to stop being overweight

18 – bike to work twice a week, regularly, as soon as the winter is over

17 – get to a C1 level (or a solid B2) of German

16 – learn how to make ravioli

15 – see the Rocky Horror Picture Show live

14 – get my certificate and start calling myself “Frau Doktor”

13 – knit or sew one complete and wearable piece of clothing for myself

12 – get a driving licence

11 – have an efficient inbox-zero strategy

10 – learn to walk with (reasonably high) heels, so going to weddings does not become a hazard for my ankles

9 – revise my basic Arabic

8 – get rid of clutter in the apartment

7 – decide if (probably yes) and when (billion dollar questions) I want to have kids

6 – run an eye-tracking or EEG experiment

5 – eat in a Michelin star restaurant (being in Saarbrücken helps!)

4 – pack my lunch to work (almost) every day

3 – learn how to use a drill

2 – buy a piece of forniture at the flea market that I am actually happy to have in my apartment

1 – sing on open mic night

Some are already planned so it’s realistic to get them done, some may never happen, some I may not happen before I turn 30. But let’s see how many I manage to accomplish. Even though . Maybe it would be more realistic to call it “29 before 31”. Then again, we all know what happens at 31: